


TNG: React

by DataSupremacy



Category: Star Trek TNG - Fandom
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Reaction, Reader-Insert, Tumblr drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29591523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DataSupremacy/pseuds/DataSupremacy
Summary: A collection of drabbles wherein the characters of Star Trek: TNG react to theoretical situations involving the reader. Archived from Tumblr. Each chapter is focused on a different scenario, based on requests I receive.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Would I trust them to watch my drink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** This was the first of the series, prompted by my own idea and therefore the only one where the reactions are written in the first person. ***

**Picard** : Absolutely. I think he'd be surprised by the request but too flummoxed to do refuse. He'd probably hold it in his free hand and that'd make it awkward if some diplomats came over to greet him, but even then I think he'd keep holding it. 10/10

**Beverly** : Yep. She probably wouldn't hold it, but she'd sit at the bar / table with it and keep an eye on it until I came back. If there was a medical emergency, would she bring it with her? Realistically, no. But it's funny to imagine that she would.

**Riker** : 100% yes. He would probably forsake his own drink to hold mine. Which means that someone will probably drug his, knowing his luck. But mine will be fine and when I apologize at the end of the episode for being the reason he let his guard down about his own drink and was consequently captured by the Ferangi or something, he would say that it's fine and that I can get him another drink to make it up to him. Roll credits on the roguish smirk.

**Deanna** : Not only would Deanna watch my drink, but she seems like the kind who would keep her hand over it. Absolutely nothing skeezy is happening on her watch. Someone would probably tell her that it's not necessary because the odds of someone messing with a drink on a Starship are low, but she would defend my right to be cautious and chide the unnamed extra for being insensitive.

**Tasha** : I wouldn't even have to ask. I'd say that I need to use the bathroom and she's already shifted my drink closer to hers and promised that she'll watch it while I'm gone.

**Data** : Yep. He would be completely confused by my request at first and not totally understand why I'd be worried about leaving it by itself. But he'd either access his databanks to figure out what the perceived threat is or take my word for it. Either way, he'd be super literal about the request and refuse to look away from it until I got back.

**La Forge** : Iffy. It depends on context, I think. If it's an episode where Geordi has a love-interest, I'm not leaving my drink with him. He will be too busy pining to pay attention. But if it's an average episode, I would ask and he would absolutely hold it and keep it safe. Someone will probably make an ableist joke about a blind man being asked to watch a drink. He's killed later in the episode and that's just vindication.

**Pulaski** : I wouldn't have the chance to ask because she's too busy calling Data a slur.

**Worf** : I would trust Worf with my life and my drink. He would be shocked to discover that some people could be so dishonorable as to slip something into another's drink and promise to defend mine, probably assuming that I have a specific person who I think will try to harm me. He would then growl at anyone who approached to keep them away from the cup until I returned. He would probably always guard his friends drinks from then on because he is very pure.

**Guinan** : She would simply pour me a new one when I got back. Not because she was careless but because this is her bar and the replicators aren't running low. I imagine she killed the last (and only) person to drug a drink in her presence, anyway.

**Wesley** : I would ask him but he would absolutely find a way to spill it on one of his superior officers. Probably Picard. That's just who he is.

**O'Brien** : Yes, I would and he would take that task so seriously that he does take the drink back to Transporter 3 if he's called back to work. He returns my cup three days later. I say thank you and I mean it.

**Lore** : He's too busy trying to drug Data's drink to watch mine.

**Q** : I would ask him and he would be offended that a human would make such a menial request of him. He would probably also make some biting comment about it being a flaw in humanity that we can't trust each other and point out that he could do something devious to my drink, himself, so why trust him? I'd tell him to forget it and say that I'll ask someone else, which would prompt him to get offended because no one could possibly keep my drink safer than he could. He sends it to Pluto to "keep it cold". I never see it again because he's too busy flirting with the captain to bring it back.

**Barclay** : Assuming we've spoken before, I ask and he agrees. He's so enthused that I would ask that he manages to spill my drink on my shoes. I tell him it's fine but he's already running away.

**Lwaxana** : I would ask and she would agree happily, promising that it would be safe with her because she is the daughter of the fifth house, holder of the sacred Chalice of Rixx and heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed. She hands my drink to Mr. Homm as soon as I am out of the room.


	2. Pretending to be a Couple

**Picard** : He goes through all the stages of grief simultaneously the second that you blurt out that he’s your husband in an effort to ward off the local on this planet that’s a little TOO interested in you. Picard doesn’t DO public displays of affection in general, but especially not in front of his crew and he’s forced to weigh his pride against the delicate nature of the mission. He stammers through his confirmation that you are, indeed, married and awkwardly takes your hand when you hold it out to him. You prove your very real love with a kiss to ease the suspicions that his lukewarm performance left and find that he is surprisingly skilled. 10/10, it’s a kiss to remember. He won’t look you in the eyes for at least a month after the fact, but he thinks about it too.

 **Beverly** : She is very surprised to hear you claim her as your wife, but what else were you supposed to do? Let the leader of this planet decide to keep her? It’s a good thing that she knows her way around improv and immediately proclaims, passionately, that she couldn’t possibly be separated from her beloved spouse and rests her head on your shoulder when you pull her into a protective embrace. This world can’t risk war with the Federation, so you two are allowed to leave. Days later, Beverly dryly remarks “That’s my spouse!” in defense of you during a mostly playful argument you’re having with Worf. You spill your drink.

 **Riker** : This man has never been so delighted in all his life to be used as an excuse. He throws himself into the role with vigor, wrapping his arm around your middle and pulling you close, insisting that he couldn’t possibly part with you when the dignitary from this new world asks. He says that life would cease to hold any meaning if he were not able to hold you in his arms; that all that he is would turn to dust if he could no longer kiss you. It might seem like he’s laying it on a little thick, but no one who witnesses the way that he kisses you at that moment would think that you were anything but madly in love. The man is smooth and later tells you that he’s happy to play your husband whenever you need it. With a wink, of course, because that’s just who Riker is.

 **Deanna** : Nothing on Deanna’s face indicates that your announcement that she is your wife is new to her, but internally she’s grateful for your quick thinking. Her smile is both gentle and polite when she declines the alien’s advances and she’s the one who takes your hand, squeezing it gently in silent thanks as she says that she is already happily taken. You don’t kiss, but the touch of her hand feels intimate enough. You think about it for days after the fact.

 **Tasha** : The leader of this planet wants an heir and decided that you’re the perfect person to ensure that it happens. Tasha tells them in no uncertain terms that she will not let that happen and, when told that only the current spouse can fight for their mate, she cracks her knuckles and announces the good news that she IS your current mate. You immediately confirm this and then sigh, telling Tasha that you’re sorry that she has to kill so many people to keep you. The leader eyes her and then ultimately decides that they’d rather choose a different spouse anyway. It’s a private joke between the two of you from then on, and you often shout “That’s my wife!” when she wins a fight.

 **Data** : You’ve turned this diplomat down twice before at different gatherings but he’s just not taking the hint and you can’t avoid him forever at this gala. When he corners you into yet another “polite” conversation where he hints at his desire to have you over for dinner, you blurt out that you’re seeing someone. Of course, he asks who and the first face you see in the crowd is Data, who you wave over. You introduce him as your boyfriend and pray to your gods that he doesn’t blow your cover. Luckily, Data sees the discomfort on your face and recognizes that you are trying to get out of a situation that you’d rather not be in. When asked how long you’ve been seeing each other, Data tells him that it’s been one year, six months, thirteen days, twelve hours, and 65 seconds – the exact time since you joined the crew of the Enterprise. You pretend that you see someone else in the crowd that you need to speak with and take Data along with you, waiting until you’re out of earshot to thank him with every fiber of your being. He promises that he will not leave you alone for the remainder of the evening so that you cannot be approached by the diplomat again. When you kiss him on the cheek as a way of thanks, he blinks rapidly as he processes the gesture and then smiles and, as promised, remains by your side.

 **La** **Forge** : Blending in on this colony should be easy, by all accounts… until you’re doing recon at a bar and a drunken alien starts to make a pass at you. Uncomfortable but unwilling to blow your cover, you lie and say that you’re married, naming Geordi as your husband. It almost smooths everything over… until the drunk in question asks about the visor and then makes a belittling comment about your company being wasted on a “defective” man. Your fist meets his face before you’ve had the chance to really think about it and the two of you take off running. When you finally stop to catch your breath, Geordi thanks you for standing up for him but insists that you didn’t have to, because he’s heard things like that his entire life. You insist that no one will talk to your husband like that as long as you’re around and you won’t ever forget the way he smiles at you.

 **Worf** : You knew that this colony was having its share of problems, but you didn’t realize that part of it was that they were all so sick of each other that they’d do ANYTHING to bring some new blood onto the planet. And since you and Riker are the only full-blooded humans on this away team, you’re catching the full force of it. Riker might appreciate the attention but you couldn’t be less excited about the way so many pairs of eyes are sizing you up. They’re aggressive with their propositions. Promising you the sun and the stars and then borderline threatening you when you say that you don’t want any of that. Seeing no diplomatic way out of this, you insist that you can’t be with any of them because you already have a husband. It’s typical, then, that they say that they’d be willing to challenge your mate for your heart. This is why you point Worf out as your husband, beckoning him over. You tell him, when he’s within earshot, that these colonists are insisting that they would like to challenge him for your hand in marriage. Worf folds his arms over his chest and stands to his fullest height, barring his teeth as he tells them that he will accept any challenge. Unsurprisingly, none of them offer one up and they all slink away instead. You thank Worf profusely for playing along and he tells you that he would do so, “any time”.

 **Ro Laren** : It’s the most terrifying mission that you’ve ever been on – because it’s on your home planet, in the colony you grew up in and your parents are watching you like a hawk, lamenting your decision to join Starfleet instead of settling down and having some kids. You’re so sick of it that you tell that you HAVE met someone in Starfleet… not expecting them to want to meet them immediately. It’s only you and Ensign Ro on the planet, now, and you know that saying it’s someone on the ship would only make them want to come up, so you tell them that it’s her and brace yourself for the impact of being caught in a lie. Ro doesn’t even blink, however, and tells your parents that it’s nice to meet them, even accepting their offer for tea. At your look of disbelief, she says that it looked like you really needed a hand. You’ll probably be indebted to her for the rest of your life. It’s worth it.

 **Guinan** : Ten-forward is crawling with refugees picked up from a dying planet. And while some of them are perfectly polite… others are a little too friendly when you bring their drinks to their table. The alliance between their world and the Federation is too important to risk, however, so you’re grinning and bearing it at the moment, but complaining to Guinan when you step back behind the bar. She tells you to take some more drink orders and walks calmly over to the rowdier table and asks them if it’s acceptable, in their culture, to disrespect their host by getting handsy with their spouse. When they say that it’s not, she proclaims that you’re her spouse and that she better not see or hear anyone bothering you again, because there’s nothing the Federation dislikes more than that kind of blatant disrespect. No one is anything but courteous to you for the rest of the night.

 **O'Brien** : It’s all a misunderstanding during shore leave. You volunteered to spend some time with Molly so that Miles and Keiko could have some time alone, only to have an official on this planet see you alone with the baby and ask about her father. You point him out to the official, who sees him with Keiko at the juice bar. They kiss and the official is furious, as adultery is illegal on their planet. You could have just said that Molly isn’t your baby, but you panic when you see him drawing his weapon and tell him that you’re married to both Miles and Keiko, who hurry over when they see you staring down an official with a drawn weapon. You quickly hand Molly over and then wrap your arms around both of them, smiling sincerely as you introduce them as your spouses. They have no idea why you’re doing this, but they’re smart enough to play along when there’s a phaser in the mix. All’s well that ends well as the official apologizes for the misunderstanding and moves along, leaving you to have to explain that you’re just not very good under pressure.

 **Lore** : Being stranded on a strange planet with Data’s evil twin brother is not your idea of an ideal vacation, but the Xenophobic natives here are proving to be a bigger problem for both of you than either of you could be for each other. They’re not willing to risk the Federation’s anger over harming you, so they’re prepared to send you back. But as Lore announced his disdain for Starfleet, already, they think he’s fair game to keep and have the means to do so. Part of you considers just leaving him there since all he’s ever done for the Enterprise is cause trouble… but the rest of you finds yourself insisting that they can’t keep him because he’s your husband and must return with you to the Enterprise. Lore knows a way out of a sticky situation when he sees it and plays it up, announcing that he will not stay anywhere without his spouse; that he may hate Starfleet but he loves you, and then he pulls you into a passionate kiss. His mouth is softer than you imagined it would be. You’re both allowed to be beamed up to the Enterprise. Lore is taken into custody but, as usual, breaks free. When you try to apprehend him, he kisses you again and then shoves you into a wall, knocking you out. He’s long gone when you wake up, but you can still taste his kiss. You keep that to yourself.

 **Q** : What was supposed to be a simple recon mission has turned completely sideways, complete with an angry mob that’s ready to sacrifice you and the rest of the away team. You’re the only one who’s still conscious and staring down the sharp end of a ceremonial knife when you blurt out that you’re the consort to a God and that he wouldn’t be pleased to find that you had been killed. It’s really fortunate that Q has been lurking around the Enterprise again, harassing the captain, because otherwise proving it would be hard. You’re not sure that he’s going to help you at all, but you have nothing left to lose, so you call for him. And Q, ever the drama queen, can’t resist the chance to show off. He arrives in style, the ground trembling beneath his feet and the binds on your wrists and ankles disappearing. He’s more than happy to prove his power to the first naysayer that doubts him and you start to realize that you might get court marshaled for THIS violation of the prime directive. However, Q claims that he was entirely responsible for the idea to save them and insists that the Captain owes him for his generosity in saving him and his crew. Picard tells him to get off of his ship and Q is aghast when he says, “And leave my spouse?!” and hugs you to him. You’ve never seen the Captain turn that shade of purple before and suddenly being sacrificed seems like the better deal than this.

 **Barclay** : You announce that Reginald is your husband as part of your cover on this new planet, hoping that his time in the holodeck and on the stage will have made him the perfect candidate for this lie. He turns red when you take his hand and stammers out something incoherent. You’re pretty sure that you’re going to die today.

 **Lwaxana** : It’s entirely circumstantial that you’ve somehow ended up separated from the rest of the away team, with Deanna’s MOTHER of all people. Never the kind to take no for an answer, she’d somehow gotten herself transported down to the planet, certain that you would need the help of the daughter of the fifth house, holder of the sacred Chalice of Rixx and heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed. You’re seen by some natives of the planet who question your presence and you blurt out the first lie that you can think of: that you and your wife are honeymooning here and got lost during a romantic walk. Lwaxana is surprisingly good at playing along, taking both of your hands in hers and begging for directions back to the resort you were staying at, pleading with them to help save your honeymoon. It works and you have to admit that you’re lucky she was with you.


	3. Occupational Hazards and You

**Picard** : Diplomacy can only do so much in a tense situation and even his ability to talk sense into the opposition has its limits. Picard miscalculated how desperate these beings were to achieve their revolution and you paid the price of him extending his hand out in friendship when you leapt in the path of the dagger that was thrown at him in response. You can’t hear anything past the roar of agony in your ears, but he hits his comm badge and SHOUTS for two to be beamed directly to sick bay as he hits his knees and flutters his hands over you, torn between the desire to grasp your shoulders and ask if you’re alright and being too afraid of worsening the wound by moving you unnecessarily. You’ll survive — a knife to the stomach isn’t an automatic death sentence, especially since the knife is still in place, blocking most of the blood flow. Between that and Dr. Crusher’s quick response time, his miscalculation didn’t cost any lives. There won’t even be a scar, but the blood lingering on your torn uniform makes him feel sick when he comes to apologize and forces him to realize just how much it would affect him, personally, if anything were to happen to you.

 **Beverly** : No one ever said that this job would be easy, but at least when there’s a doctor on the away team you can breathe a little easier… metaphorically, of course, because right now the rubble from the rock slide that had knocked you over is crushing your ribcage and when you can draw a ragged breath, dust tickles the back of your throat. Tears of pain blur your vision, but you’ve got a weak smile on your face as Beverly looms over you, her hands moving quickly enough to give Data a run for his money as she tries to determine if the Enterprise is locked onto you and ready to move quickly enough for her to have you strapped down in sickbay before you even realize you’re not longer pinned down. She promises, over and over again, that you’ll be alright — that she won’t let you be anything but alright. If you could speak, you’d tell her that pushing her out of the way and taking the brunt of the collision was worth it and that you’d do it a thousand times over. But all you can do is count the stars dancing before your vision before you’re both beamed off planet and onto the ship. Later, when you’re finally cleared to leave sickbay, she’ll press a kiss to your cheek in gratitude for your actions on planet and for the fact that you survived. That light touch will linger for days, like a brand on your skin that only you can sense. 

**Riker** : All of you know that you’re taking your lives into your own hands every time you beam down from the ship onto a new planet. There’s never any way to tell what, exactly, will be waiting for you down on the surface. But knowing that isn’t the same thing as facing down a danger beyond what you’ve ever experienced before and there isn’t any amount of training that could have braced you for the moment when a creature that you can’t even see tosses you through the air like a rag doll. You can hear it when the bone in your leg breaks before you can feel it. Riker shouts your name and rushes to you while Worf and Data struggle to locate the creature, phasers raised. You try to wave him off — there’s no point in both of you getting hurt and he can’t watch his back if he’s worrying over you. But he refuses to leave you there, pulling you up and slinging your arm over his shoulder, supporting your weight so that he can drag you to safety. With no communication going to the enterprise, you’ll have to grit your teeth against your pain for another night at your makeshift camp, with wary eyes and ears still on the lookout for the monster that might come back to try and finish you off. But Riker settles you so that you’ve got the most exposure to the fire and he declares that he’ll stay up and be the lookout, sitting next to you and taking your hand in his. Even though you’re hurting, you do feel a little safer knowing that he’s going to do his damnedest not to let anything else happen to you on this planet. 

**Deanna** : It doesn’t matter how many causalities she’s witnessed before, she’ll never adjust to the sight of seeing someone hurt; to feeling what they feel on the moment of impact. Whether she knows them well or has just met them, she hurts with every victim. And when it’s you, it’s even harder. She can taste the echo of your agony on her tongue and she chokes on it, gasping out when she can’t quite scream. Tears spring to her eyes and her legs tense — she wants to run to you where you landed when you were hit by that wave of energy from these unknown creatures that have invaded the ship, but she knows that she has to stand her ground, that she can’t show any fear because that’s exactly what they want to see and you would ask no more from her and no less. But as soon as the creatures leave the ship, their sharply worded ultimatum still hanging in air, she’s the first to rush to your side. Her fingertips brush down the side of your neck, feeling for your pulse and you groan feebly. She’ll help you to Sick bay where it’ll be determined that you’re lucky to have only escaped with a broken wrist and a concussion and she’ll stay there with you as long as she can, to make sure that you truly are okay. 

**Wesley** : People put so much on his shoulders that it seems like they forgot that he’s still a child. Sometimes he pushes himself to do so much that he forgets that he is, too. He thinks that he can handle anything, but you look at him and you still see the goofy smile of a kid stepping onto the bridge for the first time and you know that he has too much life left to live to be in a situation like this, staring down the face of the enemy. You don’t even have to think about it when you see that destabilizer go off; you pull him out of the way and shove him aside when the wall gives away under the force of the blast. He escapes with just a few scratches, but you’re not as lucky and he’s horrified to see the way that your arm is stuck under some of the rubble, keeping you from being able to scramble away. You tell him to run, but he refuses to leave you there — can’t repay your saving his life with cowardice. He starts trying to lift the rocks off of you, narrowly avoiding another blast and you tell him, again, to go. He ignores you and gets the last rock off of you, offering you a hand up. You glare at him before you let him help you up and crowd him behind you, using yourself as a shield as the two of you run to get out of firing range. Later, when you’re getting your arm fixed up by his mother, he comes to thank you for what you did. He’s never had an older sibling before, but he likens you to what his idea of one is. It warms your heart, even as you grab him by the front of his uniform and tell him in no uncertain terms that he better run in the future when you tell him to. He refuses to say that he will and you give up on it… for now. 

**Tasha** : She puts herself on the front lines and always has, ready to accept injury or even death for the sake of those around her. Her upbringing put that into the very code of who she is. However, as ready as she is to die for Starfleet’s cause, she’s not nearly as ready to see you go down. You’re knocked off of your feet by the sweep of an alien’s leg, the air knocked from your lungs and staring down the shard end of a polished blade before you even realize that you’re not standing anymore. You roll as they lunge and take that knife into your shoulder, just prolonging the inevitable, you think, since the pain is paralyzing and your enemy is still on top of you. If it wasn’t for Tasha, throwing her entire body into the fray and knocking him off of you, you’d have been killed. She knocks the creature out while you’re struggling to your feet and she runs at you, seeming for a moment like she might pull you into an embrace… but she stops, midway, and instead offers you her hand so that she can pull you to safety. The sight of you on the ground will haunt her for weeks to come and her extra grueling training sessions with Worf will be toward the goal of never letting something like that happen again on her watch. 

**Data** : It happens too quickly for even his reflexes to match. The person that you had thought was your ally revealed their true colours with the brandishing of barbed whip that hums with electricity, both tearing at the flesh of your throat and sending volts of agony through you when it wraps around your throat. They pull and you hit the ground, unable to breathe or think at all beyond the white-hot pain that suffuses your every nerve. Three phasers are drawn by security and shot all at once at your would-be assassin, knocking him off of his feet but leaving the whip coiled tightly around your throat. It seemed that was his plan the whole time — he must have known it would be impossible for any other creature to withstand the pain, themselves, long enough to remove it. But Data isn’t like any other creature and he moves faster than you could possibly track, his hands a blur as he grasps the weapon and untangles it from you. Another moment and you would have succumbed to its deathly grip and you struggle to catch your breath as Data scoops you up into his arms, carrying you as if you weighed nothing at all and hitting his comm badge to alert sickbay of an emergency situation. And though Data will always be the first to insist that he has no emotions, you’re sure that you see concern in those eyes before you fall unconscious… and relief, later, when you wake no more worse for the wear. 

**La Forge:** You’ve lost count of how many times a fluid entity that doesn’t seem to be of this or any other known reality has slipped into the computer and taken complete control of the Enterprise, but it doesn’t seem that there’s any number high enough for you to have gotten used to it. Your fingers are moving as fast as they can against the screen, trying to combat every change that this entity is making to the system. It’s not enough, you know it’s not enough, but you can’t give up. Not when the lives of every being aboard this ship is at stake. It doesn’t matter how many times it knocks down what you set up, you’re going to beat this thing. You’re sure of it… until this entity decides that it’s done playing by your rules and goes for the kill. The force of the explosion sends you flying into the wall, your fingers burning from an electric charge. The ringing in your ears is louder than the sound of Commander La Forge shouting your name and your vision is blurred when you try to lift your head, but you feel his hand grasp your arm and his sleeve wiping away the trickle of blood that’s oozing down from your hairline. You can’t see his eyes past his visor, but you know he must be concerned by the way that the corner of his mouth dips. It’s not safe to stay here, not with the rest of the consoles spitting sparks in your direction, so he hauls you to your feet and half-drags, half-carries you to safety. Later, when the ship’s control is returned and all is right, your fingers will still tremble with caution before you press each control and Geordi will squeeze your shoulder reassuringly, silently reminding you that this ship belongs to the people, not to any entity out there. 

**Worf** : A sound like you’ve never heard before rips its way out from Worf’s throat when he sees your blood on the blade in your enemy’s hands. You can’t see him from where you’ve fallen, your trembling hands pressed against the wound in your chest, but you can hear the way that he growls as he rushes forward to defend you from a second attack. You can taste copper and feel the pain of every ragged breath you struggle to take in and think of your family, back on your home planet. How they’ll feel when they get the news. And then you think of nothing else at all, not until you wake in a sterile room with dim lighting and nothing left of your injury but the ghost of what your blood tasted like in the back of your throat. They’ll tell you that Worf picked up your lifeless body and delivered you to sickbay himself. He’ll refuse any appreciation you offer, insist that it was his fault you were injured because he led the security team. And when you remind him that you knew the dangers of the job when you took it up, he’ll say that you have the fire of a Klingon: the most sincere compliment that he could ever offer.

 **Ro Laren:** The first thing that Ensign Ro says to you when she reaches your side is how much of an idiot you are. Unfortunately, you have to agree. You had both made judgment calls on this new planet but only one of you was lying flat on your back, struggling to catch your breath after being bowled over by some of the native wildlife. You’ll live with nothing more than a few scratches, but it is humiliating to see the way that she looms over you, somehow managing to laugh and scowl at the same time. At least she offers a hand to help you up, even as she states that she’ll be taking the lead from now on. It’s a few steps before either of you remember to let go of the other’s hand. 

**Guinan** : When you’re finally cleared to leave sick bay after an away mission that proved to be more difficult than any of your commanding officers said it would be, the only thing on your mind is getting a glass of your favourite earth drink and relaxing in one of the corner tables of Ten Forward. You’re a little battered from your fight on planet, still, with bruises forming on your jaw. But with so many injured, non-lethal bumps and bruises were sidelined and you’ll just have to live with them as you sit down at the bar and wait for Guinan to notice you. When she does, she brings you a glass and your favourite dessert, too, without you even having to ask and offers you a sympathetic smile. She’s damn good at her job, you think, as you take your first bite. 

**O'Brien** : It’s not commonplace that someone would start firing the moment that they arrive in the transporter room, but O’Brien’s reflexes are better than you’d think and he manages to knock you out of the way before you can take a phaser blast to the chest. The two of you hit the floor and all of the air is knocked out of your lungs. You struggle to catch your breath as Miles pulls out his own phaser, aiming it at the tail end of the man already out the door. You manage to hit your comm badge and breathlessly call for security, coughing hard as he helps you sit up. He apologizes for hitting you so hard and asks if you’re okay. You are, and you’re grateful that he had the good sense and skill to make sure that you didn’t leave this earth in Transporter Room Three of all places. You have him and Keiko over for dinner, later, and an extended display of your gratitude. 

**Lore** : You’re just a human, so you don’t see why it would matter to him if you get hurt. You’re just two unlucky beings being hunted by the same creature and you’re bitterly certain that he would trip you if he thought it’d give him more time to get away. He’s the “evil” one, right? You’ve heard the stories about him and what he’d done to Data in the past. And when the path that you’d been scurrying down opens to a cliff that overlooks a vast jungle at the bottom of a fall that neither one of you could possibly survive, he can react quickly enough to avoid sliding over that edge. You can’t. There’s a split second of terror when you feel your feet touch open air instead of solid ground; fear like you’ve never felt before and like you hope you never do again. But right as you’re bracing yourself for the free-fall to your death, you feel a hand grasp the back of your shirt and yank you away from the edge. You crash back into Lore who looks just as surprised as you that he didn’t let you go and fall. He’ll sneer and insist that it’s only because he may use you as bait or a bargaining chip later, but for some reason… you don’t believe him. 

**Q** : You know for a fact that he doesn’t hold humans - or most other beings - in high-esteem. In fact, as often as he tortures, torments, and otherwise messes with “lesser” beings, it’s nothing short of astonishing to see the look of mild horror on his face as the sharp end of that spear rips through your abdomen. This was just another game of his, another way to rile up the Captain. He hadn’t REALLY meant for anyone to get hurt. But his intentions don’t mean much when there’s blood spilling down the front of your uniform and pain like you’ve never experienced radiating in every atom of your being. You can’t even look angry at him for putting you in this situation. You can only manage a soft, resigned sound as your knees start to get out. You brace for the sickening pain of the spear being pushed back when you fall forward… but it never comes. You hit the ground and there is no spear. No blood. Just Q with his hand raised partially in the air and a grimace on his face as he suggests that neither of you really NEED to bring this up to Jean-Luc. You agree, but only because you know he could bring that injury right back if he wanted to. 

**Barclay** : It’s just a paper cut. A little slice of your finger, courtesy of the book you were reading. But in an age where papers aren’t handled very often, Reginald is a little panicky about trying to offer you a way to staunch the bleeding and unsure if this warrants a trip to sick bay. It’s almost cute.

 **Lwaxana** : Mrs. Troi may enjoy antagonizing the captain, but never at the cost of someone’s health. That’s why, when you push her out of the way of enemy fire from yet another invasion upon the Enterprise and end up taking the hit yourself, she’s horrified. Luckily that phaser was only set to stun when the enemy ripped it out of Ensign Lang’s hand and you’re just a little dazed. She grabs you by your ankle and drags you out of the way into the turbolift, ignoring your insistence that you need to stay and fight. Why on earth would you want to fight, she asks, when getting away is much safer? There are no causalities, thankfully, so you have nothing to let hang on your conscious. But Lwaxana does insist on hugging you whenever she sees you, proclaiming that you are her “hero” and there’s no way to get out of that. 


	4. Sharing Secrets

**Picard** : The Enterprise has been more of a home to you than any other planet that you’ve ever set foot on, but now that you’ve found yourself at the center of her looming destruction what else can you do but report directly to her captain? You count every step through the doors to his desk, knowing that they might be the last time that you ever set foot in this place, and settle into the chair across from him with guilt in your eyes. He’s surprised to see you, but no less accommodating than he’d be to any of his closest officers, even with the tension from the insurmountable task ahead weighing heavily on his shoulders. He asks what he can do for you, setting aside his PADD, and you consider backing out. But that’s cowardice and you can’t bring yourself to sink so low with his eyes on you. So, instead, you make your confession in a tremulous voice, your eyes lowered to his desk because you can’t bear to face him directly as you admit that you’re the cause of these troubles. Because you’re not looking at him, you miss the way that his expression changes: Shock, anger, disappointment, understanding… they all flit across his face in the span of a few seconds. But when you finally look up at him, his eyes are surprisingly gentle. Maybe he understands why you’d keep to this yourself, even as the pressures of outside forces started to become unbearable or maybe he cares enough about you to accept that you made this decision, even if he doesn’t agree with it. Either way, he leans back in his seat, his mind racing with countless possibilities about the way that this all ends. There are so many ways that this ends in a firefight. Fewer ways ways where they give you up. And an infinitesimal option where everyone makes it out of this, including you. His voice is grave when he tells you that he’ll fight for that final option. You start to apologize for the trouble that you’ve caused, but he shakes his head and tells you that the time for apology will have to come later. For now, you all have work to do for the sake of this ship. 

**Beverly** : She’s alone in her office when you finally get up the courage to seek her out. You’re not sure where your trust in her comes from — her kindness, perhaps, or the fact that she’s a doctor and you hope that will be enough for her to understand why you’ve kept this to yourself for so long. Either way, you’re here now and there’s nothing left to do but smile sadly when she greets you. She asks if you’re feeling alright and you say yes, even as your hands start to shake. The concern in her eyes is almost unbearable as you ask yourself if you really deserve that compassion. You wave her down when she starts to stand and you take a seat, instead. If you wait much longer, you’ll lose your nerve altogether. So, you open your mouth and tell her everything. It’s one long, rambling explanation with too few breaths taken between each word… but she seems to understand. And when you finally look back up at her face, you see the same kindness in her eyes that had been there before. She reaches across her desk to take your hand in hers and thanks you for coming to her. But although this is a big first step, there’s a lot more that has to be done to get you, and the ship, out of hot water. But she promises to be there with you through it and that’s more than you could have hoped for.

 **Riker** : You had no real intention of telling William Riker everything. None at all. It’s a credit to him, the way that he makes you laugh so hard that you forget why you were afraid in the first place. That his presence and his jokes relax the tension from your shoulders and make you feel like there’s nothing you can’t do or say. When your joined laughter ends, all that’s left is that ache in your stomach that reminds you of what you swallowed down and hid years ago. Is it fair to put this man in danger? Is it fair to put his crew and everything he cares about on the line because you’re afraid of what he’ll think of you? No, you decide. It’s not. So you sit down on the couch in your quarters and invite him to sit next to you. He feels the change in your mood and asks you what’s wrong — if he said something that was too far out of line. And you reassure him with one breath and admit that you’re nothing but trouble for him in the next. You tell him everything before he can interject with a joke about how much he likes trouble and you can feel the way he sobers up beside you as he listens. Will he yell, you wonder? You wouldn’t blame him if he was angry. But he doesn’t and he isn’t. He wraps his arms around your shoulders and tells you that it’s going to be alright; that he won’t let anything or anyone hurt you. You’ll figure a way out of this, together. Just you, him… and the Captain that he has to report to, now. But he’ll stand there with you when you make your confession for a second time and squeeze your hand when it seems like you might succumb to those tears in your eyes. 

**Deanna** : It’s not possible to keep a secret from an Empath for very long and that’s a fact you’ve come to know with some bitterness when Deanna comes to your quarters and asks if she can speak to you. You can’t really blame her, though. How much longer could you have possibly kept his up? How many more causalities could you bear to be responsible for — you’re not the one attacking this ship, but you’re the reason why and that’s blood on your hands too. She’s felt the way that you’ve become increasingly guilty and closed off. You know that she knows that there is something more to all of this. Something that you’re not saying. And she promises that she won’t judge you for what you have to say, but that it’s important that you do say it so that a solution can be found. To you, there is no solution. You’ve lived with this for so long, what could possibly be done for you that you haven’t already tried? But, still. She’s gentle and warm and maybe that’s all you could ask for from an audience. So, you tell her. To her credit, her expression never changes. No shock, no anger, no blame. Just gentle understanding from start to finish. And when you shrug your shoulders helplessly and promise that you never wanted anyone to get hurt, she says that she knows. She draws you into a hug — you can’t remember the last time you had one of those — and you find that you can’t keep your tears at bay. You start to cry and she lets you, promising quietly that she’d do everything she could to help you find a way out of this.

 **Wesley** : This kid is more intuitive than you would have given him credit for and it’s exactly that underestimation that is your downfall. When no one else had their eyes on you, somehow he did. Working closely together in Engineering had allowed him a front row seat to the way that you became more and more agitated with every failed attempt to find a solution. The two of you are alone now, eyes burning from lack of sleep, when he finally gets brave enough to ask you what you’re hiding. You feign obliviousness at first, but it doesn’t work and he promises that he’s not here to judge you — that he understands feeling fear after a mistake, but says that the best thing anyone can do is speak up when they’re afraid because there’s always someone on the Enterprise who is willing to help. It’s a child optimism, you think… but somehow it works and you find yourself admitting that there is more to this situation that has your involved than just your job. He tells you that he’ll go with you to talk to the Captain, if you want, and you consider it… before shaking your head. This is something you have to do on your own, but you thank him for encouraging you to face your fears. He says that he’ll see you later and you think that’s optimistic too — who knows if the Captain will even let you stay on his ship? But Wesley seems so sure that Picard is a reasonable man and since he sees more than anyone, you just have to take his word for it. 

**Tasha** : If there’s anyone on this entire ship that you think could truly understand what it is to make choices when you seemed to be out of any reasonable options, it’s Tasha and that’s exactly why she feels like the only person you could possibly speak to. It’s rare to find her in her quarters, but you timed it just right and it gives the two of you the privacy you need to finally gets this off of your chest. She invites you to sit and you do, hands folded in your lap and head bowed. When she laughs and asks why this seems like you’ve come to confess some terrible crime, you don’t join in and she stops smiling, coming to sit beside you. What do you need to tell her, she asks now, her voice soft but stern. You confess that you’re the root cause of all of the problems the Enterprise has been facing, that something from your past has come back to haunt you in the present and that you no longer know what to do. Part of you expects her to pull her up from the couch and drag you to the Captain… but she doesn’t. Instead, she reaches out to take one of your hands in hers. She tells you that she understands why you hadn’t said anything before and admits that she still struggles to talk about things from her life prior to joining Starfleet. But she promises that she’ll be there for you, every step of the way from here. And you believe her.

 **Data** : You may not believe it when Data tells you that he has no emotions, but there is something about the way that he says he will not judge you that gives you pause. It had been a purely hypothetical question — a way to pass the time in Engineering while the two of you were bent over the same project, looking for answers where there were none. But, now that you think about it, maybe you had been more interested in his answer than you were admitting to yourself. If Data was incapable of judging you… well, that would make him the perfect person to make this confession to. What are you more afraid of? The consequences or the disappointment and disgust you might see in a friend’s eyes? The answer is obvious to you, so you finally just… say it. The words are sharp in the air and hang there for a few moments while Data seems to process what you’ve just told him. Then, finally, he turns away from the screen and looks at you meaningfully. He tells you, calmly, that this confession has not changed the nature of your friendship nor does he believe that you’re truly at fault. The blame, he surmises, belongs with those who react violently to who you are because of it. He knows what it’s like to be considered an outsider; to be different than everyone else, sometimes so much so that people respond negatively to his existence. But just as the Enterprise is full of people who will protect him, they will protect you too. And he will be the first, he says, to defend your existence on the ship. It’s funny to you, then, that a being with “no emotions” would make you cry so hard. And when you hug him, he wraps his own arms around you after a moment and you feel safer than you have in years. 

**La Forge** : Geordi has been working for days without much rest, trying to find a way to amp up the Enterprise’s power to combat the threat outside. You’ve been watching him, worrying over him, and hating yourself for holding onto the key piece of information that the crew is missing; the reason why that ship is so determined to destroy every on board if it means the end of you too. Telling him may mean giving up your life, but how much are you really worth? Every breath you draw is causing people pain and you’re just watching it happen? How much more can you take? And if you owe anyone an explanation, it’s him. The man who makes miracles happen by the order of a Captain who barks over the Comm every once in a while. So, you approach him. When he tries to wave you off, you tell him that’s it’s important — that you know something the others don’t. He’s thrilled by the idea of a new theory, at first, but as you start to explain yourself… that excitement leaves his face, his lips curving downward. He hates you, you’re sure of it. All that he’s had to put himself through was your fault, in the end. How could he not hate you? But just as you’re telling him that you’ll go to the Captain and request that you be allowed to beam yourself over to the other ship and take the threat away from the Enterprise, he interrupts you. He tells you that you should have spoken up sooner, but that it doesn’t really change anything. You don’t deserve to die for what they can’t understand. And he knows that the Captain will agree with him — that he’d do anything he could to save an innocent life. Geordi says that he’ll keep working on a solution until he finds one, and that he always does. You ask if you can help and he smiles again, directing you to a section to work over. 

**Worf** : He may not strike most people as the epitome of understanding, but you think you see something in Worf that escapes everyone else. You know that there is compassion in him because you’ve seen it in the way that he puts everything he has into protecting those around him. And that’s exactly what you feel like you need right now. Protection. From the forces outside of this ship, but also from yourself and the cataclysm you’ve let come to fruition that now threatens to destroy you from the inside. It should feel intimidating to speak to Worf about this, just from the way that he looms over you, but it’s that strength you’re counting on and the words come out with more ease than they have any right to. His expression never changes as you speak, but he’s silent for a long time after. Contemplating. And when that silence stretches on beyond what you can bear and you’re ready to speak again, he raises a hand to silence you as he finally seems to be done organizing his thoughts. He tells you that he has to take you to the Captain and that you must give this information to him, as well, but that he is going to volunteer to be your personal guard and keep you safe while they figure out a way to handle this. The dishonor in this situation isn’t yours to bear, he promises, but belongs to those who would harm you rather than let you live as you would like to. 

**Ro Laren** : This isn’t born purely out of trust, but out of camaraderie. If anyone knows what it is to make a decision that costs them everything, is her. So when you go to her, you don’t just get someone who will listen. You get someone who looks at you with understanding like you’ve never been shown before. She’s relied on herself and her own intuition for so long that she doesn’t even suggest telling the Captain. She’s got her own ideas for how to find a solution and they don’t involve giving you, or your secret, up to anyone. Whether or not it’s going to work is up for debate, but at least you’re not alone anymore. 

**Guinan** : Ten Forward is not the place to go if you’ve got something on your mind that you’d rather not talk about. Not only can Guinan sense it like blood in the water but she hunts it out just as efficiently too. It starts innocently with a question about whether or not you’d like a refill and suddenly she’s sitting beside you, coaxing it out by virtue of appearing like she wants to know. You’ve never felt as completely relaxed around anyone as you do her — never wanted to share everything like you do now. Her expression never changes the whole time you’re talking. No shock, no anger, and no triumph for getting it out of you. She just… listens. And when you’re done, she tells you that no one can make any choices from here on out for you, but that trust is what really makes something feel like home. Trust in the love that can be found there, trust in the safety, and trust in the community. If you can feel those things or give those things, then you aren’t home. Is the Enterprise home, she asks you, and you know that you have to talk to Captain Picard as soon as possible. 


	5. The Proposal

**Picard** : He invites you to the Holodeck for a dinner in Paris as he remembers it, bringing with him a picnic of your favourite food, a bottle of real champagne, and the little black box that his sister-in-law took great care in sending to him at his request; a box that contains his mother’s ring. The idea is to put the ring in the drink and then offer it to you, but he fumbles and the ring falls to the ground and lands near your foot. You don’t realize what it is, at first, and reach down to grab it and offer it back to him… only to freeze when your fingers brush against the delicate white-gold of the band. He’s knelt down to snatch it up as well and your eyes meet. Yours are full of shock, his full of horror that his plan hadn’t gone at all according to his mental image of this moment. After a moment of silence, you pick the ring up and hold it out to him and his heart sinks, assuming that you’re rejecting him. But then you ask him, innocently, if he wants a take-two on the ring placement. He smiles wryly and tells you that it depends upon how you’ll answer. You tell him that he’ll just have to wait and see, but that ring is dry and on your finger by the time that you leave the Holodeck.

 **Beverly** : She calls you into Sickbay and tells you that’s you’re overdue for a physical, much to your surprise. You’re almost 100% sure that your last one wasn’t that long ago, but she’s the doctor so who are you to question it? It’s all very routine, at first, with your vitals being recorded, your eating and exercise habits being questioned, and your mental health seemingly held together… but as she’s running the tricorder over you, she suddenly frowns and you ask her if something is wrong. She asks you if you’ve been feeling any pain and you say no, but it sounds like a question to your own ears as your mind races through the last few days, trying to recall if anything had felt off to you at all. There is definitely something wrong with your hand, she tells you, as she lifts it gently into her own. And when you say again that you feel fine and ask her what’s wrong, exactly… she suddenly smiles and meets your gaze, telling you that the problem is that you’re not wearing a wedding ring. But that, luckily, she has one for you. And you say yes, because you certainly don’t want your health to be at risk.

 **Riker** : It is not an intentional proposal. He means it, of course, but there’s no thought behind it. No planning at all. Just you and him on the beach of a planet with a tropical enough climate for even the most stubborn of crewmen to be ready for some shore leave. It happens in a moment when the tide rushes to meet your feet and you’re laughing with delight at how warm the water is here. Your joy is infectious and the words just spill out of his mouth. “Why aren’t we married?” He asks, eyes full of wonder. The question gives you pause and you turn to him, bemused. You tell him it’s because he never asked and he nods and confesses that he hadn’t planned for this… but he gets down on not one, but both knees, and holds out his arms. He asks if you’ll do him the honour of making him the luckiest man in the galaxy. It’s a line that would be unbearably cheesy from anyone else… but you can hear the sincerity in his voice and see the vulnerability in his expression. However, that doesn’t mean that you’re immune to the urge to toy with him, because you ask him if he could truly give up his vacations of Risa for you. His answer of, “No” is so fast that you’re almost stung, but he quickly follows it up by asking where else you’d have your honeymoon. There’s really no other way to answer that than to roll your eyes drop down to his height to kiss him, so you do.

 **Deanna** : You’re visiting her in her quarters after a particularly grueling mission, enjoying the first bit of peace that either of you have had in weeks and sharing some hot chocolate, when she tells you that the danger the ship had faced from the Romulans had gotten her thinking about how fragile life could really be and how much there was left that she wanted to experience. At first, you’re afraid that she’s going to tell you that she’s planning on resigning as ship’s counselor and leaving the Enterprise because you know, in your heart of hearts, that you could never follow her, even loving her as much as you do. But that’s not what she says. Instead, she says that she needs a little more joy in her life and asks how you’d feel about attending a wedding. You’re so relieved that she’s not planning to go anywhere that you immediately agree, only realizing a few minutes later that you hadn’t heard anything about any crew mates getting married. You ask her whose wedding it will be and she smiles at you over the rim of her cup before answering you with a simple, “ours”.

 **Tasha** : You propose to each other at the same time. It’s completely unplanned, but great minds think alike and when you heard about the beautiful planet that you’d be stopping at for some shore leave, you apparently had the same idea of how to take advantage of such a great place. When she pulls out a ring and starts to ask you to marry her, you shake your head, terrifying her into thinking that you’re saying no. But before her face can fall, you pull out a box from the pocket of your own leisure wear and hold it out to her in disbelief, showing her the ring that you were about to offer. The two of you stare at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter, concluding that this is just one more reason to believe that you’re perfect for each other.

 **Data** : He comes to your quarters after his shift on the Bridge, still dressed in his uniform and with his PADD in hand. A list, you realize, when he steps inside and hands it over to you. You ask him what it’s for, assuming that it must be related to something on the Enterprise, but he tells you, calmly, that it is a list of every reason he believes that he would be a satisfactory life mate to you. He explains that when he was asking some of your already married coworkers how it was that they decided that they were ready to take that step, they all gave him answers in the form of a list. And if you have no objection after reading his list, he would like to invite you to join him in a matrimonial union. You don’t finish reading the list; you set it aside and kiss him instead.

 **La Forge** : You’ve never seen him as nervous as he is when you arrive at the Holodeck for date night, but you know that things have been stressful for him in Engineering lately and you assume that he’s still working through whatever problem he’s having with the computer in his head, doubling your determination to help him relax tonight. But when the two of you step inside together, you realize that this program is familiar — it’s the first one that he ever designed for the two of you, when you had your first date. For a second, you wonder if he programmed the wrong one because you’ve never known him to take you to the same place twice, but when you turn around to comment on the familiar surroundings, he’s already down on one knee. He doesn’t have a ring to offer you, he says, because part of the reason he’s been so on edge lately was because it was lost in transit, but he couldn’t bring himself to wait another minute before finally asking you to marry him. He’s still apologizing for not having everything perfect when you drop down to your own knees and throw your arms around him, saying “yes” over and over again to stop his flow of apology. 

**Worf** : Though he has spent his entire life studying ever aspect of Klingon culture so that he would never feel as an outsider to his people… you are not Klingon. All that he knows of his people can’t help him here, with the human that he has fallen in love with. That’s way it’s a month from the day that he decided he wants to be your husband that he invites you to his quarters after your shift for dinner and you’re astonished to see the way that he has transformed it. He tells you that he did research into the colony you grew up on for information on courting rituals and offers you a seat at a table with a white cloth draped over it, where dishes of spaghetti are waiting for the two of you. However, the dinner isn’t the main part. Not to him. As soon as you sit down, he tells you that he learned that your planet still enjoys the tradition of exchanging rings, but that he could not bring himself to offer you a worthless trinket. Instead, he offers you an intricately designed knife, beautiful and deadly, and asks if you would accept it as a gift of his love and, in addition, accept him as your mate. You say yes to both things and his roar of triumph could wake the dead before he pulls you into an embrace that lifts you off of your feet. And while he holds you, you murmur the words of the Klingon oath into his ear, something that you learned just for him… and something that makes him smile in a way that you have never seen him smile before. 

**Ro Laren** : She asks while the two of you are stranded on an unfamiliar planet and struggling to build a shelter out of the available resources around you. There is nothing romantic about the moment, with an unforgiving sun beating down on you and your fingers aching from weaving together long grass as a mat for the two of you to sleep on beneath your triangular roof of sticks. But something in the determination in your face is all that she needs to see, because she asks if you’ll marry her if the two of you survive this. You wipe the sweat from your face with the back of your arm and smile a little sourly when you agree, not realizing just how serious she is until later, when you hear her asking the Captain if he knows how to speak Bajoran.

 **Lore** : It starts with an argument. Many things with him seem too and it’s a testament to your patience that you’ve managed to keep a relationship with him for this long. Lore is many things: distrustful, shifty, arrogant, conniving… but you’ve seen more than that to him, you know that the being beneath the hardened exterior he cultivated after the rejection he suffered from the colonists and his creator is as soft and gentle as anyone can be. You love him. Which is why you’re so taken aback when he suddenly accuses you of thinking that he’s not enough. Not human enough, not sweet enough, not docile enough like his brother. Lt. Commander Data has been the source of spats between the two of you, before, but you hadn’t seen Lore’s brother in months now, since the two of you settled on this planet together. He insists that everyone expects him to be more like his brother, like you secretly feel that way too. And you’re fed up with the accusations, throwing your hands up in the air and asking what the hell you have to do to prove yourself to him, because if time and care hadn’t been enough, you had nothing else to offer. And that’s when his smile turns sly, the ruse falling away. He stalks closer to you, backing you up against the wall of your home, his lips grazing your ear as he tells you that he’ll only believe you when you marry him. Apparently, staging an argument to put you in the position to have to agree to marry him is “romantic” as far as you’re concerned. You must be just as twisted as he is, because you say yes.

 **Q** : He doesn’t propose. Not in the human way or any other way that you’d expect. One day, he appears aboard the enterprise, takes your hand in his, and declares that you’re married now. You think it’s a joke, at first, or yet another way for him to antagonize Picard… but then he keeps showing up, mostly to scare off any unlucky would-be suitor, trying to make their first move. The minute they open their mouth to flirt with you, he’s there in an instant and demanding to know why they’re so close to his spouse. You’ve been advised by three people that you could just tell him that you’re not going to marry him… but you’re certain you could do worse than an omnipotent being capable of making your wildest dreams a reality. But you do mention to him that it’s customary for a courtship to take place prior to a marriage and now your favourite flowers are appearing in your room every morning. 

**Barclay** : It starts as a typical day, as far as you’re concerned. Your shift in engineering overlaps with his, but the two of you are usually very careful about keeping work and your relationship separate so as not to give your boss any reason to start changing up schedules. And that’s why you’re confused about the way that he keeps hovering, appearing not to be very focused on his work at all… but what’s even more confusing are the looks that everyone keeps throwing at you. Finally, just as you’re about to corner him in private and ask him what’s going on, you suddenly realize that the two of you are alone, with Commander La Forge having sent everyone to different stations. Your confusion turns to realization when you turn and find that Reginald is on one knee, holding a ring in shaking hands. He tells you that since Engineering was where he first laid eyes on you, he wanted it to be the place where he took the first step into forever with you. He asks you to marry him and you say yes… immediately greeted to the cheers and applause of all of your co-workers, who had been spying on the moment and apparently in the know before you were.

 **Lwaxana** : She sends a Betazoid gift box to you as way of proposal and assumes that you will agree to marry her without ever actually receiving your response, only boarding a few days later with a list of plans and guests that will have to be picked up on the way to Betazed where the two of you will be wed. It’s fortunate that you DO love her, because trying to tell her that you’re not ready to be married would be impossible.


	6. Horizontal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: NSFW. Features semi-explicit descriptions of sex.

**Picard** : The stilted veneer of a man who’s in control of himself to the point of being cold completely melts away when he’s alone with you. There’s a romantic side to him; a passionate side that sweeps you off of your feet. He’s as certain of himself in bed with you as he is on the Bridge, though he much prefers to hear you call him by his name here than he would “sir”.

 **Beverly** : She is astonishingly dominant when the lights go off. It may not be chains and whips, but she knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to make sure you know that the doctor knows best. It’s definitely hard for you to look her in the eyes at work the next day.

 **Riker** : It’s a fling because that is so often all it could ever be with him. He’s a career man at heart… but in body, he’s a romantic. He says and does all the right things. With anyone else, it might feel like a cheap or tawdry experience, but not with Will Riker. Maybe he can only give you one night, but he gives everything he has from sunset to sunrise. He’s gentle and giving, not at all what you might have expected. He makes breakfast in the morning and kisses you goodbye; leaving you with warm feelings of fondness and zero regrets.

 **Deanna** : As an empath, she has a unique sense into what does and does not do it for you. And, as a student of the human condition, she has no qualms with trying new things to find what makes you feel the most intensely. She’s passionate and, more importantly, not afraid to laugh or tease and let the moment be what it is without taking it too seriously. It enhances the experience for you and sweetens the intimacy when the pressure of being perfect is alleviated.

 **Tasha** : Physical intimacy doesn’t come easily to her and that’s why it takes months of building a relationship with her before the subject is even discussed. Trust is the most important thing to her – she’s still carrying so much hurt from her past that it’s hard for her to truly connect with anyone. When she is finally ready to take that step, it’s a gentle night of reassurances and gentle touches.

 **Data** : He talks to a LOT of other people on the ship about when the appropriate time to initiate “sexual intercourse” in a relationship is before he ever talks to you. It could be embarrassing if there wasn’t something endearing about the way that he’s trying to be the best partner he can possibly be for you. The real hard part is trying to find a balance between “Data” and “Pleasure Program 456”. But when you do work together to help him utilize his knowledge without sacrificing his personality to some cheap imitation of the android you love, “perfect” doesn’t begin to cover what it’s like with him.

 **La Forge** : Geordi is in love with being in love. Romance takes priority over physical intimacy with him for a long time into the relationship because he gets a lot of gratification by making you smile with a unexpected bouquet of flowers. But as you get closer and closer to being ready to take that step, you also realize that insecurity feeds into a lot of his hesitation. He thrives on sweet nothings and praise, especially when you tell him that he’s perfect as he is. Over time he’ll be less uncertain about himself, but he’ll never stop desiring your approval.

 **Worf** : He would have everyone believe that he, like most Klingons, wants an aggressive partner and animalistic mating. But the truth is, he’s not actually like that. He might enjoy some roughness, but he’s a romantic at heart and takes the pleasure and comfort of his bedmate seriously, enjoying the feeling of being close more than the act itself. He’s very capable of being gentle when needed.

 **Lore** : You hate him. He has a superiority complex the size of Ganymede and his sense of morality is more like a vague notion. There isn’t anything he enjoys more than antagonizing you and/or any other living thing that he comes into contact with. And yet, there’s a spark beneath every argument. An electric charge that sends you to your breaking point before you even realize it. One minute you’re cursing his existence, the next minute he’s got your back to the wall and your hands are in his hair. He has 0 qualms about taking full advantage of your new vulnerability… and definitely won’t ever let you live it down.

 **Q** : It feels strange to call it a one-night-stand, but that’s exactly what it is. An omnipotent and immortal incorporeal entity doesn’t see much reason to bind themself to human social graces or courting, after all. He acts on whims. Impulses. Dating opportunities aren’t exactly plentiful on a Starship, so it’s a little heady when he takes an interest in you. He has more experience than you could imagine, several lifetimes worth of technique perfecting. It’s an unforgettable experience that no one on board misses… because he brings it up while pestering the Captain. No social graces before, during… or after.

 **Barclay** : You’ve been in a relationship with him for six months before he decides to see if you’re ready for that next step. Oh, sure, he’s had urges before but his fear of rejection held him back from being too preemptive. When you are both ready, however, you’re surprised to learn that he doesn’t seem to have the same self-doubts in bed that trip him up everywhere else. He knows exactly what he wants but, more importantly, he knows how to listen to your needs too. You’re not one to kiss and tell and maybe that’s a good thing, because no one would believe the 180 that Reg does when the lights go off.

 **Lwaxana** : You have no prior relationship with Deanna’s mother – and, honestly, you know you shouldn’t be taken with her at all. There has to be some kind of rule about getting intimate with a coworker’s mother. But Lwaxana isn’t one for social graces OR denying herself the right to life’s pleasures, and her way of thinking and being is infectious. It’s hard to feel reasonably ashamed of yourself the morning after, especially since she’s as chipper during breakfast as she was after dinner… but you could do without Mr. Homm’s judgmental looks.


	7. Dog Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your new puppy escaped quarters and is treating the Enterprise like its very own chew toy…

**Picard** : There is exactly one person aboard this ship who you absolutely do NOT want to know about this… so, of course, the Captain is exactly who stumbles across the pup just moments before you do. How did your pet even make it all the way to the bridge? There’s no time to figure that out. Right now, you have to look the Captain in the eye and apologize for the fuzzball’s attempt to mark the Captain’s chair as its territory and swear that nothing like this will ever happen again. You get a very stern, “see that it doesn’t” from Picard and a walk of shame off the bridge with a squirming bundle of pooch in your arms. Not the best impression you could imagine making.

 **Beverly** : There are worse places for a puppy to sneak into than Sickbay – especially when Dr. Crusher is trying to work with a fearful young girl who’d rather be anywhere but getting shots from the doctor. Being able to hold a lost puppy keeps the patient still long enough for the examination to be completed and you’re able to sneak in a few moments later and collect the escapee. Beverly will offer some friendly advice about not letting your pet escape twice… but mention that it has given her the idea of researching the ancient practice of therapy animals, if only to soothe anxious children. At least something good came from this.

 **Riker** : Your new pet bolts as soon as the doors slide open, leaving you standing there in shock for a few minutes too long before you can even think about chasing after it. Luckily for you, the pooch isn’t able to do much more than frighten a couple passing ensigns because Commander Riker and his lightning fast reflexes snatch it up and meet you halfway down the corridor. You thank him profusely for catching the jail breaker and saving your neck from reprimand at the same time and he brushes off the praise, insisting that it was no trouble at all… but that you could always meet him for a drink later in Ten Forward, if you really wanted to make it up to him. And when your pet chimes in with a bark, he amends his suggestion and says he could meet you at your quarters, instead, and share a bowl of toilet water with the puppy. It would be a forced joke from anyone else, but he’s warmly sincere and you tell him that you’ll let him know… after you put the dog back where it belongs.

 **Deanna** : Deanna may like dogs, but she’s definitely not moved to feel much joy for one that’s somehow managed to get into her room and knock her hot chocolate over. Trying to mop up the mess with your sleeve isn’t nearly as effective as you imagined it would be, especially not when you’re holding a dog against your side with your free arm. You’ll be lucky if you’re not called in for an evaluation with as scattered as you’re acting. Maybe you should have read something on pet ownership…

 **Wesley** : No one is more excited to find a puppy in the turbolift than he is. Unfortunately, no one is also more likely to help create chaos instead of inhibiting it. The power of the untrained dog are now combined with the teenage savant. No one on the ship is ready for this. You might have to transfer.

 **Data** : When you find your lost dog, it’s jumping up at Data’s legs, barking excitedly and earning his bemusement. He’s not sure where the pup came from but he’s not opposed to it, either. You, however, are horrified to see the misbehaving pooch jumping up on a superior officer and rush to scoop your pet up, apologizing and hurriedly explaining the situation. Fortunately, Data knows the difficulties of pet ownership and walks with you back to your quarters, telling you about his cat’s misdeeds. There’s solidity in that moment.

 **La Forge:** No puppy, ever, should be in engineering. But especially not YOURS, causing problems for someone you were hoping to impress. Having to introduce yourself as the recent transfer AND owner of the dog that nearly startled someone into falling over the edge of the overlook on the warp core is NOT how you wanted to start things off. At least Geordi is forgiving… mostly. He’ll probably bring this up for the rest of your life, though.

 **Worf** : A klingon holding a puppy that is desperately trying to lick its face SHOULD not be a terrifying sight. But when said Puppy peed in the corridor, chased an Ensign to a turbolift, and chewed on a tricorder… well, your blood tends to run cold. A reprimand from the Chief security officer is not how you wanted to start the day… but, at least you don’t get it as bad as you could, since Alexander Rozhenkos happens by and takes an immediate liking to your dog, cutting the lecture short. You live to die another day.

 **Guinan** : Your puppy has made it all the way to Ten Forward and knocked over six drinks by the time you catch up with it. Mortified doesn’t even begin to cover what you’re feeling when you go to ask Guinan about the damages… but she doesn’t seem like she’s out for blood. Just the opposite, she’s enamored with the pooch and insists that your dog is welcome there any time… as long as it learns to behave itself. But just because Guinan is a good sport doesn’t mean you’re not in for it when this gets back to the Captain.

 **O'Brien** : He’s chasing the dog in circles around Transporter Room 2, trying (in vain) to grab him before he can cause any more trouble. It becomes a team effort of huffing and puffing and twenty minutes of being outsmarted by a puppy before one of you finally snatches it up. If he’s angry about it, he doesn’t have enough air to say so you consider it case closed.

 **Lore** : This man looks like Commander Data to you, but for some reason your puppy hates the vibes he’s giving off. You don’t have time for chit-chat while trying to corral a yipping dog that seems ready to tear his leg off, so you hightail it out of there as fast as possible, expecting to be reprimanded later… only for Data to have no memory of such an incident when you apologize later. Weird.

 **Q** : There’s never been a situation bad enough that Q can’t somehow make worse, you learn, as you finally catch up to the dog… only to find that it’s now the size of a horse and in the Captain’s ready room, courtesy of the omnipotent trouble maker. On the plus side, you can probably say it was Q’s fault that the dog got out in the first place, right? That’s something to bring up later, though. Not while like Captain is looking at you with terror and asking if your pet is house trained.

 **Barclay** : Reginald is terrified of dogs. You don’t find that out until he zips past you in the corridor with your playful pooch at his heels, giving all its got to this game of tag. As long as Reg is running, your pet is too… which means you have to zoom right after them if you ever expect to get your dog back home before someone higher up finds out about this.

 **Lwaxana** : When it comes to dealing with Mrs. Troi, Picard will take any distraction available to him. Especially an unattended dog tearing through the Enterprise. Unfortunately for you both, Lwaxana isn’t easily evaded or one to keep her thoughts to herself. Your reprimand from the Captain is interrupted when she comes flouncing in to defend you, telling the Captain that he just needs to loosen up and roll with life’s little surprises – especially the cute ones, like your dog. She might have just saved your job… but looking at the Captain’s expression, you have to wonder at what cost.


	8. Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You’ve just discovered that you’re pregnant… now you have to tell your partner. (Male crew reaction only, by request.)

**Picard** : It’s a shock to both of you, but it’s not difficult to tell that he’s taking it harder than you are. When you had entered this relationship, it was with the expectation that this wouldn’t compromise the professional integrity that either of you conduct yourself with. But now? It’s hard to lie to yourselves and say that nothing will change. Especially since you know that he’s never factored in children as part of his future; he hardly likes them on his ship! You’re terrified that he’s not going to want any part of this child’s life, but ready to assure him that he’s under no obligation to be. But just when you’re getting up the strength to relieve him from any duty he might feel that he has to you, he finally looks up from the solemn silence that he had been sitting in and asks what you think of the name “Meribor”. That surprises you and you ask him if it’s not a little too soon to be focused on the name, but he finally smiles and rises from his desk, stepping around it so that he can take you into his arms. He’s terrified, he admits, to think that he could become a father — to imagine life with his heart walking around outside of his chest, constantly in danger aboard this ship, but that he can’t imagine the alternate future without you and the child that he knows he already loves. It’s going to be an adjustment period for both of you, but one that you’ll be in together.

 **Riker** : As much as you try to tell yourself that you know William, you can’t help the doubts that creep into your mind as you sit on the medical pallet in sickbay, staring blankly ahead at the screen where your vitals are being projected. Pregnancy wasn’t something that you had factored into your life, not right now, but now that you’re staring it down? You’re terrified and elated all at the same time, finding yourself wondering if the baby will have his eyes. You’re still trying to imagine what that would look like when he arrives at Sickbay, looking past Beverly to you where you’re sitting. He hurries to your side and asks if you’re alright — asks why he was called there from the bridge and how you were hurt. It takes a moment to calm him down but, once you do, you can’t think of a better way to tell him than to just blurt it out. He looks just as terrified as you felt… but just as elated, too, and his hand goes to rest against your stomach. In that moment, you know that you’re in this together, for better or worse.

 **Data** : This child is what you’ve been waiting for. It’s been months since Data first broached the subject of raising “offspring” with you, almost a year since you decided to undergo artificial insemination. However, it hasn’t been an easy journey from there to this moment and you start sobbing the moment that Beverly tells you that this last round had, finally, been successful. You start to reach for Data, but he doesn’t respond right away. His eyes are transfixed on the medical tricorder in Dr. Crusher’s hands and an awed smile brightens his expression. It takes him longer than usual to process the information, but when it finally clicks for him he looks to you and asks if he’s truly going to be a father. You nod, still with tears in your eyes, and he finally realizes that he is supposed to be holding you now. He takes you into his arms and repeats it to himself, whispering again - “I am going to be a father.” You’re 100% positive that these next few weeks will have him diving even deeper into research about taking care of human babies, but you also know that it’s going to be absolutely worth it no matter how “off” it has him acting.

 **La Forge** : He faints. There’s no warning since you can’t see his eyes behind the visor. Just a shaky little gasp and he falls like a ton of bricks right onto the floor of sickbay. Your elation immediately becomes concern and you drop down to your knees next to him, hands fluttering over his lifeless form as you try to figure out what to do, but Beverly is already there with two nurses, helping him back up. She assures you that she sees that response in expecting fathers all the time, but you can’t help but worry that this is a sign that he’s not nearly as happy as your are. Of course, your fears are unfounded. The second that he comes to, he asks you if he’s really going to be a father and whoops with delight when you tell him that he is. He’ll never live this moment down, not as long as you have anything to say about it, but he certainly made it memorable.

 **Worf** : Outwardly, Worf is delighted. Or, at least, as delighted as you’ve ever seen him. His chest is puffed out in pride and he shows all of his teeth when he smiles. It’s a testament to his virility, of course, that you conceived so soon after he took you as his mate and he’s certain of his effectiveness as a father, since he’s been raising Alexander for so long… but beneath that façade, he’s terrified. He missed the vital first few years of Alexander’s existence and he’s afraid of proving himself as a unsatisfactory mate to you by being unable to care for your child. It’s weeks before you discover this, he hides it well. But once you do know, you promise him that you’re not looking for or expecting perfection, just the best that he can manage. Alexander is a wonderful child and you remind him that it’s mostly due to him. You have no doubts that he’ll be an amazing father to the new baby as well. And when he’s still uncertain, you ask him if he’d dishonour you by implying that you have not chosen a worthy mate. Ensnared by his own cultural trap, he turns his fear into straight determination.

 **Lore** : Having the ship that you call home commandeered by a volatile android who is both ready and able to kill to get his way certainly wasn’t part of your birthing plan. Sure, he did you a huge favour by ejecting your abusive husband out into space, but at what cost? At least you’re not the only one who’s being inconvenienced — having to assist in the delivery of a human child because he got too trigger happy and shot the doctor with a phaser, knocking him out, wasn’t part of his heist plan. He may be morally chaotic, but he’s not a MONSTER and he knows enough to help you survive the delivery. Three years from now, that child will be calling him father as Lore tucks him into bed, but right now? You and you child are the only survivors or a hostile takeover of your spacecraft and what else are you going to say but “yes” when he’s holding your son in his arms and asking, casually, if you’d like to explore the universe with him?

 **Q** : He’s irritating. That’s your opinion of the whole thing when you tell him that you’re pregnant with his child. He’s frankly horrified that he’s responsible for the conception of another “Q” in such a primitive way as having sex with a human. But that’s not the irritating part. No, it’s when he starts to interject into your life, kidnap you from any situation he deems “unsafe” (reasons ranging from too many phasers in the room to him not liking the scent of Klingon food and thinking that it would somehow offend your child too) and manipulate the replicator to only give you food that he thinks is “healthy” for the baby no matter what you just asked for that you get annoyed. He’s lucky he’s as cute as he is aggravating or you think you would have found a way to kill him by now.


	9. Coming Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last Captain you served under had some antiquated opinions about your sexuality and it lead to a miserable year under his command until you could get approved for a transfer to the flagship of Starfleet — The Enterprise. But as you find yourself in awe of this ship, you have to wonder if you’re in for the same treatment here. And since you’d rather know sooner than later, it’s time to start talking.

**Picard** : Captain Picard is the most intimidating presence that you’ve ever found yourself standing in. The air of geniality that he put on when you asked to speak with him did nothing to detract from the steely gaze that he fixes you with, even as he offers you a seat opposite of him at his desk. You tell him that you’d rather stand, even if your wobbly knees would have been grateful for the opportunity not to have to fight to keep you standing upright, and calmly relay the speech that you had been rehearsing in your head since you had first beamed up from the Starbase; telling him how grateful you are for this opportunity but admitting that your last Captain had their issues with you and that if he shared in that opinion, you would return to the Star base, no questions asked. He stares at you for a moment before rising from his chair and strolling over to the replicator, requesting two cups of tea. Both Earl Grey, both hot. He presses one of the mugs into your hand and asks, again, if you’ll take a seat — this time on the couch in the ready room. You comply with the second request and he joins you, thinking carefully before he begins to express his sorrow that prejudices like those still exist in this day and informing you that you will not be subjected to treatment like that aboard this ship; not while he is Captain. The tea is warm in your hands, but not as warm as the feeling in your chest and certainly not as sweet as the relief that you won’t have to leave this ship, too.

 **Beverly** : You bring it up to her during the routine physical that should end with you being declared as fit for duty aboard the Enterprise. It’s all small talk with her, gentle and calm as she tries to help you warm up to her and the unfamiliar surroundings. ‘The first day aboard a new ship is always difficult,’ she tells you, tsking her tongue sympathetically. ‘But I think you’ll like it here. Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself? Are you still in contact with your parents? We have a system for subspace transmissions that will allow you to send messages to anyone you like.’ It’s meant to be comforting… and quite a luxury. Not all ships are equipped for that and messages have to be sent during layovers at Starbases. But your smile tightens and you quietly tell her that you and your parents aren’t on speaking terms anymore. That they, like your Captain, had certain ideas about how you were supposed to be. There’s a moment of tension in Dr. Crusher’s face; a fleeting impulse when she thinks of Wesley and tries to imagine loving him any less because who he is isn’t what she assumed he would be. She can’t picture it and her tone is gentle when she starts to tell you about the other amenities that the Enterprise has to offer its crew and invites you to join her for some of them, later. It’s an unspoken offer of total acceptance of you and your heart soars as you agree.

 **Riker** : You confide him during an away mission to a planet with archaic values that resembles 21st century earth, admitting your anxieties about being surrounded by lifeforms like these. He asks if you’d be more comfortable on the ship and you refuse, telling him that you want to be able to do your job… but that you’re also feeling inescapable tension. He pulls you aside from everyone else and promises you, quietly, that he’ll help you get through this without any causalities. It’s not a promise that should ever be made during an away mission; no one knows what will really happen. But you can’t help but think he’ll do anything to keep that promise to you and you’re a little less insecure going forward.

 **Deanna** : She comes to you at the urging of the Captain, who’s still bothered by the idea that you were expecting to not be wanted on the Enterprise. She tells you that she knows that you had an unpleasant experience during your previous posting and tells you that you’re able to come and speak with her whenever you might like to. Wary of her intentions, you ask if this is an offer she’s making as a Counselor or as a friend. She takes your hand and squeezes it gently, assuring you that she could assume either role based on what you needed… and then promises that nothing you say to her will be repeated either way. You wouldn’t normally believe her, but she has sincerity in her eyes like you’ve never seen before and you can’t help but think she means it.

 **Wesley** : He’s dealing with his third heartbreak when you talk to him. There’s a lot of uncertainty in a kid that age, too many unanswered questions and you’re trying your best to give him advice. He wants to know how you knew what you knew when you did, and you tell him that it’s not something that’s possible to explain. You know when you know. It doesn’t clear up things for either of you, but he doesn’t feel as bad as he did when he first came to Ten Forward. That’s a win, as far as you’re concerned.

 **Tasha** : She comes out to you first, mentioning an old girlfriend in passing. It must be another case of like recognizing like and she’s testing the waters to see how you’ll respond. You pause to take a drink, not wanting to sound too excited, before you mention your own dating preferences. There’s an unspoken moment of delight between both of you, silly grins on your faces as you continue the conversation as casually as possible.

 **Data** : He’s inquiring about the nature of love when you bring it up. What the rules are, what the perimeters of the feeling is. It’s hard to explain it in such easy to digest concepts, but you try as hard as you can and use yourself as one of the examples. For a second, you’re worried that he’ll judge you… but it’s a silly thing to think of. He just moves onto the next question after processing the information that you offered and often corrects other people’s assumptions of you, later, if they make them in front of him.

 **La Forge** : It’s a moment of bonding for the two of you. Time spent in Engineering has made you fast friends and he confides in you his new dislike of a visiting Ambassador that keeps treating him like he’s incompetent because of the visor. He hates the assumptions that people make about him and what he’s capable of; hates that he’ll always be treated as subhuman because he’s not exactly like everyone else. You murmur back that you know how he feels, telling him a little about what you went through during your previous posting. He’s horrified on your behalf, and then angrily says that neither one of you can let these people make you two feel badly about yourselves. You agree and seal that shared vow with a pinkie promise, the most solemn of human oaths.

 **Worf** : He’s telling you about Klingon romance rituals with a note of pride in his voice; his culture means a lot to him and any time someone shows interest in what he can teach them is a good day for him. And you ask, with some trepidation, what happens between courting Klingons who are not a male and female respectively. He thinks for a moment, and then tells you that two females would throw heavy objects at each other until one of them finally fell and two men would reach poetry until one of their voices gave out. It is still about dominance, just a different way. You think that’s cute if not a little strange.

 **Ro Laren** : You don’t come out to her. Not really; not in so many words. It’s a passing comment, a simple: I like your earring. She reaches out and brushes her fingertips against it and her eyes narrow in on you. A moment passes before she compliments your hair. You know. She knows. You both stand there, knowing, and then you go your separate ways during your shift. She sits down next to you in Ten Forward, later, a new friendship already in progress.

 **Guinan** : You don’t come out to her either. She’s heard a few things, snippets of conversation from the people that you have come into contact with and she brings you a drink, unprompted, insisting that you’ll love it. ‘Love is a funny thing, isn’t?’ She’ll ask, when you take the glass. ‘Some people love this drink. Some people don’t. Nothing wrong with either of them.’ It’s a passing observation that shouldn’t mean anything to you, not without the context of what’s going through her mind, but you feel strangely comforted.

 **Lore** : You come out to him in a biting retort to some obscene comment he’s made with the intention of riling you up. It gives him pause for a second and you wonder if he’s not also capable of bigotry as well as mass-murder. But all he does is adjust the comment before he throws you across the room. And you think, in a daze, at least he’s inclusive.

 **Q** : It happens when he’s trying to tempt you in the pursuit of proving some point to the Captain. With a snap of his fingers, he creates what he assumes would be your “ideal mate” and encourages you to accept this most generous gift… looking extremely baffled when you gently correct his assumption. You’re not at all what he had come to expect from the people on the Bridge and he tells you, with false shock, that he would never expect a human not be limited by the binary they had created. The image of them mate that he had conjured up disappears… and he moves on to harass one of the Senior Officers, instead.

 **Lwaxana** : She reads it off of you like a book because humans like you spill thoughts around her and she can’t help but catch them all. Later, she tells you that humans have such a rigid concept of love and that you should take a note from a Betazoid and treat it as a limitless experience, not a binary concept. She says it so resolutely that you stutter out a “Yes ma’am”. You think about her whenever you get self-conscious, later, and it helps you gather your courage.


	10. Period Pains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Obviously, mentions of periods. If you suffer from gender dysphoria or are just squicked, skip on past this one.

**Picard** : Maybe it’s something about the way that he holds himself to his rigid sense of dignity or maybe it’s the way that anything involving real human emotion tends to make him run in the other direction but you don’t tell him that you’re in pain. It’s all a matter of sneaking around the topic, making up an excuse in your department and sneaking back to your quarters, hoping he’ll be none the wiser. Unfortunately, nothing ever seems to stay secret on the Enterprise for very long and his rare moment of downtime coincides with your attempts to hide. The idea of not being seen as a capable partner who can provide for you in all times of need doesn’t sit well with him and he insists on proving himself, bringing you tea and even breaking out a stash of real chocolate for you to nibble at while you lie in bed; not that synthesized sweet stuff. His bedside manner might still be a little stiff, but he tries and that’s what really counts.

 **Beverly** : She has a little bag of natural tricks for fighting against the discomfort that comes along with menstruation… but she also has all of the really good pain relievers and is happy to help relieve the pain that has you unable to stand up all the way when you come to her, desperate and in need of assistance to get through your shift. After work, she invites you Ten Forward and commiserates with you on how miserable it can be, and gives you some tips on how to get through the next week INCLUDING some breathing techniques so that you don’t explode at a superior officer like she did at her last posting. You two share a laugh over it and you feel a little less like you’re on your own in dealing with things on the Enterprise.

 **Riker** : He’s understandably confused when you cancel on a date that you had both been looking forward to for some time — it’s hard to find quality time with anyone on The Enterprise, especially with as often as danger can be found lurking between the stars. But the idea of putting of putting on anything but pajamas and being anywhere but in your quarters with a bowl of ice cream is totally unappealing. You’re both adults, though, so you take a breath and tell him the truth before he can get any crazy ideas about you just not enjoying his company. His entire demenor changes from one of exaggerated hurt to softness and he asks if he can join you in your quarters if he brings his own sweat pants. It’s hard to turn down an offer like that so you agree and the two of you spend a lovely, lazy evening together with him making sure that you’re completely comfortable the whole time.

 **Deanna** : You don’t need to tell her. She can sense your pain from the moment the discomfort begins, while you’re still asleep, and gently wakes you to help you into the shower. She warms a pair of your favourite pajamas and has hot chocolate waiting for you when you finally reappear from washing up, and the two of you snuggle on the couch until she has to get ready for her shift on the bridge.

 **Tasha** : She’s the best partner that anyone could as for during times like these. She’s always ready to get you anything that you might need — sanitary products, a heating pack, a specific dish that you might be craving. So much of her life has been about taking care of herself and her sister that it’s second nature to her to take care of you too. She likes feeling useful.

 **Data** : By the time he’s done researching the menstrual cycle, he knows more about it than you do. But as far as technical knowledge can take him, it can’t teach him the things that you can only learn with experience. Like how many tampons is too many and when hovering does more harm than good. Still, he’s sweet and attentive so you can’t get too bristly with him. Especially not when he can elevate his external temperature and become the warmest thing to snuggle on the ship.

 **La Forge** : Geordi is awkward about the whole thing. He’s never been in any relationship long enough to deal with this type of thing, but he tries. He constantly checks to make sure that you’re feeling okay while you’re working beside him in Engineering, asks if you need to take a break, and if there’s anything he can get you. It might start to wear on your nerves if he wasn’t so sincere about wanting to do all the right things when you need him too. Plus, he offers to give you a back massage and after a long day spent bent over the screens in engineering, that’d be impossible to pass up.

 **Worf** : A Klingon’s reproductive style is vastly different from your own, so it’s a learning curve for him. You’re not sure how he’s going to react, so you’re pleasantly surprised when he looks at you with awe and tells you that any Klingon would be proud to bleed for many days at a time without succumbing to death and he is delighted that he has selected such a strong mate. Every time you start to feel agitated or exhausted, his praise of how honourably you carry your pain perks you up… though not as much as the soothing oil that warms your skin soothingly when he applies it to your abdomen.

 **Ro Laren** : You tell her that you’re not feeling well enough to join her in the holodeck for any combat training and end up telling her exactly why when she keeps pushing for a reason. She’s not heartless and accepts that as good enough… but that doesn’t mean she’s above dropping hints about different workouts that the two of you can do together that are said to relieve cramps.

 **Guinan** : Somehow she always knows exactly what you’re craving. When you slump down into a seat at Ten Forward, she already has the exact dish that you wanted, hot and ready to be served at your table. You know she’s not interested in ever getting married again, but sometimes the gesture is so sweet after a long, painful day that you hope she’ll change her mind.

 **Lore** : He’s not prepared for your emotional instability. The physical aspects made sense to him from a purely logical standpoint when he looked into the pains you had been muttering about under your breath. But seeing you burst into tears when you see a small puppy at a market was not written in any of the textbooks he downloaded and he starts to think that you might be dying or going insane and keeps a close eye on you, grabbing anything that you mention wanting if only to keep you from dissolving into tears again. This might be the most power you’ve ever had.

 **Q** : He picks the wrong time to kidnap you from the Enterprise. You’re already sore, high-strung, and ready to snap when he plucks you from your quarters in order to toss you into the middle of some game he’s playing for his own amusement. He had no way of knowing how close to snapping you were, but that doesn’t mean you feel sorry for him when it all becomes too much and you lash out, punching him in the face. On the plus side, he doesn’t kidnap you again and seems a little more cautious around you in the future. The Captain can’t believe it was that easy the whole time.


	11. Touch

**Picard** : He’s the king of self-repression and that’s led him to be unbearably touch starved. So much so, in fact, that he thinks his artificial heart stops working the second that your fingers brush against the back of his hand and it’s only the shock of your palm pressing against his that starts him up again. You’d only wanted to quietly grab his attention, to show him something of interest in you’d just seen in the market without drawing too much attention to the two of you. But, now that you’ve touched him, he can’t think about anything else or focus long enough to process what you’ve seen. And now your fingers are twined with his and your hauling around the useless man formerly known as your Captain.

 **Beverly** : It’s the anniversary of her husband’s death when you grasp her hand. She’s too far away for a hug, sitting on the opposite side of you in Ten Forward and you just can’t think of another way to bring her back into the present and offer her comfort at the same time. So, you reach across the table and thread your fingers in hers, squeezing gently until she looks up at you. You don’t tell her that it’s going to be okay. She already knows that. You don’t tell her that you’re sorry, because she knows that too. Instead, you just squeeze her hand again and let all of the things that are too hard to say left unspoken, hoping that she understands. Her smile tells you that she does.

 **Riker** : It’s just to save his life. His eyes are so focused on his tricorder that he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s about to walk over the edge of a cliff leading down to a churning ocean but he IS and you panic and grab the first part of him that you can reach. It’s too close a call for comfort and you’re about to scold him for not watching where he’s going when he meets you gaze and tells you, slyly, that you didn’t have to make up excuses to hold his hand; you could have just asked. You wonder if you should have let him fall… but can’t help the exasperated smile on your face either.

 **Deanna** : There are too many people in this room. The narrow gaps between bodies are hard to follow Deanna through and the air is too thick with conversation for you to call out to her, so you quicken your pace and grab her hand instead so that you don’t get lost or separated and either touch makes her empathy a little louder or she can read the panic in your expression because she offers you a comforting smile and slows her pace as she pulls you along with her. You don’t let go of her hand for the rest of the night.

 **Tasha** : She stiffens the moment that you twine your fingers with hers, eyes wary and lips pressed into a tight line. There are so many awful memories she has associated with touch, so much danger and hurt and nothing in her eyes tells you if this is okay or if you made the right choice. For a moment, you’re fully prepared to have her yank back away from you and storm off… but the tension passes and she relaxes, again, keeping her hand in yours. Not a word is spoken between you as you continue to watch the stars you’re passing by through the window of Ten Forward.

 **Data** : He just accepts it as it happens. Physical touch as a gesture of intimacy or affection is still a subject of curiosity to him as so few people seem willing to so much as brush against him, let alone willingly grab onto him. But once he’s accepted this as your display of affection, he’s content to let you follow him around as he goes about his business in his quarters. As time goes by, he’ll start to hold his hand out to you whenever he wants to be reassured.

 **La Forge** : Geordi blushes and offers you the biggest smile that you’ve ever seen on his face the moment that you grab his hand. It can be… hard for him, to relax into a gesture like that. So many people who see him without his visor, or even WITH it on, think that he needs help making his way around. But you’re not there to pull him in any direction; just content to stand beside him as you continue down the corridor and he thinks that he might learn to associate this kind of touch with a more positive intention because of you.

 **Worf** : He tells you that a Klingon does not hold hands, but doesn’t seem to know what to do when you take his into yours as a rebuttal. He doesn’t concede to the fact it’s a pleasant display of affection and you don’t tell him that you told him so. You just… sit there and let him enjoy a gentle kind of devotion without making him feel like he has to defend his existence as a Klingon because of it. Maybe that’s why he likes you so much.

 **Ro Laren** : She asks you what the hell you’re doing when you take her hand in yours and you give you an unimpressed look, explaining that some people use physical gestures to demonstrate affection. She tells you that’s disgusting but does NOT let you take your hand away.

 **Lore** : He instantly jerks his hand back out of yours and pretends to hate it… but, from then on, he keeps putting you both into situations where you have to grab onto his hand, just so he can have a few minutes of contact with you before he has to keep up appearances and push you back again. 15% of his suprocessing is now dedicated to planning ways it can happen.

 **Q** : He can’t believe that a mortal would be so familiar with him and starts to insist that his must be a display of your undying love for him. No amount of explanations about the fact that you just didn’t want to FALL will get through that head of his and you’re starting to realize that this means you will have to spend the rest of your life with Q randomly popping in and out of your quarters, asking for favours because you “love” him, so why wouldn’t you help?

 **Lwaxana** : You do not grab her hand. She grabs yours. She has not let go. It’s been an hour. Deanna tells her that she should let you get back to what you were doing, and you have to resist the urge to tell Dee to mind her own business.


	12. Fatherhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to "Announcement".

**Picard** : The first week of your daughter’s life is the most difficult of his life. Yvette Picard has replaced the sun and stars in Jean-Luc’s eyes, but that doesn’t mean it’s all smooth sailing. When you bring her onto the bridge to meet everyone, he panics at the thought of the possible danger. When the ship is placed on Red Alert, hers is the first face he thinks of. It’s hard to be completely objective when he’s stumbling onto the Bridge with eyes that are heavy with exhaustion and broken notes of the French lullaby he soothed her back to sleep with still stuck in his head and he even wonders if he isn’t willing to give up his command to be there with the two of you during the day. It takes some urging from you and some long talks with Deanna and Beverly, but he does eventually learn to ease up a little. As Yvette grows, she is still the light of her father’s life and he will drop anything at all to be with her.

 **Riker** : He’s terrified when he holds his son in his arms for the first time. He’s never seen anything as small or fragile and can’t help but count all the different things that could hurt him. There is so much that he doesn’t know about being a father and he can’t help but wonder if he won’t make the same mistakes with Johnny as Kyler Riker made with him. Those fears are entirely unfounded, however. He takes to fatherhood like a duck to water, always bursting with enthusiasm to teach him new things and to show him the most beautiful parts of the galaxy. He’s a hands-on father, the kind to show up to the Bridge with his son strapped to his chest, inviting the new nickname of “Number 1.5”.

 **Data** : His claim that he can’t feel love has never been so sharply contested as it is the moment that he’s handed Ian Soong for the first time. He is completely mesmerized by his son and already equipped with every parenting book from the known galaxies to prepare him for what lies ahead. He’s the perfect father; patient, kind, and helpful. He stays with Ian all night so that his partner can sleep and spends the hours counting every breath that his son takes as if it were the most remarkable sight in the world and treats his every milestone as the most impressive accomplishment ever achieved. Most evenings, Data can be found playing lullabies on his violin to soothe Ian to sleep. As Ian gets older, Data encourages his personal growth and validates his personhood. It’s teaching Ian about his emotions that helps Data discover his own.

 **La Forge:** Geordi is an incredibly patient and entirely devoted father to baby Silva and practically raises her in Engineering. He spends all day talking to her like she understands every word, walking her through complicated fixes as he increases the Enterprise’s efficiency. Her first word ends up being “Warp” (he insists she meant it and it wasn’t just her trying out a new sound) and he’s never been prouder. The only person he trusts to babysit Silva is Data, because he knows that he’ll follow the steps of her schedule to the letter… but later has a crisis when Silva calls him, “Dada”, forgetting that Sil hasn’t figured out “Ts” yet and NOT that she just likes Data better.

 **Worf** : He tries. Dear God, how he tries. But he’s not perfect and struggles to impress the value of honour onto a creature who thinks its own feet are the height of hilarity. Helena has him in the palm of her hand before she can sit up and it’s as funny as it is sweet to see how she forces him to drop the Klingon posturing and have tea parties with her on the Holodeck. Eventually, he does relax and it even improves his relationship with Alexander; Helena is truly a miracle.

 **Lore** : Raanan is Lore’s new beginning. It starts as a project of spite; raising a child just to prove that he can do it better than his own father. But it’s not long before it stops being about proving a point. Raanan becomes his entire world and he’s not afraid or unwilling to kill anyone who threatens his son. It even helps him hate organic beings just a little less.

 **Q** : He keeps using his powers for everything as first: diaper changes, feeding, bathing, and putting her down for a nap and it’s not until he’s challenged to spend a day caring for her without his powers that he realizes how hard it is to raise Quinn. He stops snarking at other parents for not being as good at it as he is… but nothing will stop him from insisting his daughter is superior to all others. And even less will stop him from trying to force her powers to manifest.


	13. Ashes to Ashes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Discussions of death. Um, your death, to be precise. Do not read if easily triggered by the thought of dying. Take care of yourselves.

**Picard** : There is a certain amount of dignity and composure that a ship’s captain must conduct themselves with at all times and that’s exactly what he does as as he stands in front of a sea of familiar faces and gives the eulogy for your memorial service. He stands tall, voice unwavering, and in the moment he seems untouchable. No one would guess the way that he breaks down when he returns to his quarters. A Captain has to learn how to lose members of his crew. But you were more than that to him and this loss is different than the others; it hits him harder and steals the very air from his lungs. He doesn’t know if he believes in a life beyond this one, but he does know that you deserve one if there is. He hopes that you’re somewhere safe and that you’re happy, because that thought is the only one that will get him through these coming weeks when the sharp sting of your absence will hurt the most.

 **Beverly** : She blames herself. As ship’s doctor, it’s hard not to. There are always so many “what-ifs” to haunt her. If she had gotten to you sooner, if she had moved faster, if there was just a little more time… it all adds up to infinite possibilities where she never had to say goodbye. She’ll be angry for days and when that anger turns into grief, she’ll be crushed under the weight of it. She’ll survive and pick the pieces back up again, but she’ll never be quite the same for losing you; another piece of her heart laid to rest in a coffin with someone else who couldn’t be saved.

 **Riker** : He’s solemn, but it’s not for the same of dignity or composure. This is just what Will does; he shuts down at the first mention of death. Holds it off like it’ll hurt less if he gives it a few days before he really accepts that you’re gone. And when that doesn’t work, he wants revenge. He’d tear a hole into the universe with his bare hands if he could just to find you some justice. But when there’s no enemies left to fight and nothing he can do, he just sinks into his grief like the deep end of a swimming pool. It never gets any easier to lose people. He doesn’t know how to keep doing it.

 **Deanna** : She cries over every death and yours is no different. It’s harder for her than it is for everyone else because she’s not only crushed under the weight of her own grief, but the grief of everyone on board. It hits her in an unstoppable tidal wave of anguish that she can’t fight or shut out and she loses all the feeling in her legs, sinking to the floor and sobbing from the pain of it all. Pulling herself back together is difficult and she relies on all of her training to lift herself back up, to dry her tears with the back of her hand, and to swallow the next sob that threatens to shake through her body so that she can do her job and counsel everyone else through this time. But who does she turn to? You’re gone and there’s no one to confide in, now. She’s never been so lonely.

 **Wesley** : He doesn’t understand death any better now than he did when his father died. Loss is too big an emotion for too young a kid. And he is a kid or, at least, he’s never felt more like one than he does when he sits on the edge of his bed and stares numbly ahead at the wall after he hears the news. How does anyone get used to this feeling, he wonders. How many deaths does it take before it stops hitting you so hard? He’ll ask Captain Picard, later, and it won’t surprise him much to hear that it never does and you only learn to hide those feelings a little better every time. It’s all apart of being in Starfleet… all about of being human. He’s never wanted to be human less, then.

 **Tasha** : It’s not right, as far as she’s concerned. It’s not right that you should have died when so many evil people continue to roam the galaxy; when people who didn’t give half as much as you did are still able to take from others and face no consequences. She thinks of the many innocent people that she watched die during her childhood; the violence and destruction that raised her. You’re the first one she’s cried for in a long time. And she does cry, long and hard, once she’s safely back in her quarters. There is no place that’s free from senseless violence and she resents the universe for that and for taking away yet another person she needed around.

 **Data** : He will insist that he cannot be sad; that he’s incapable of grief. But that doesn’t stop him from feeling loss when you’re not where he’s anticipating you will be. Every time that he turns his head and receives a different sensory output than yours, it confuses him for a moment before he remembers that he will never again receive your input. He’s withdrawn and distracted for days after the fact, pondering over what death means to different cultures and how it is that others continue to exist once they’ve come to rely on a certain input. There are no answers for him, and perhaps that fact is what makes it so human.

 **La Forge** : It’s a hard subject for him, death. The loss weighs heavily on his shoulders, but he doesn’t cry. And he wonders if maybe that means something is wrong with him. He cared about you, you spend time together. Shouldn’t he be devastated? Shouldn’t he struggle with the idea of continuing life without you? But he doesn’t feel anything at all. No anger, no pain, no sadness… and it’s a while before he realizes that he doesn’t feel happy anymore, either. It’s like something snapped, inside, and there’s nothing left but the hollow shell of who he was.

 **Worf** : He says that he is happy for you. The great beyond is something that all Klingons look forward to and so there is no reason to mourn your death… however, despite all his posturing, there is sadness in the way that he holds himself and in the way that he withdraws from others, his temper even shorter than usual. He’ll never admit it, not even when prodded by Deanna, but your death is hard for him to accept. There is no enemy that he can fight to gain closure, only tragedy and the wreckage to sift through while they go on living.

 **Ro Laren** : She’s just bitter. It’s another strike against the universe, in her eyes, that you would die so soon before your time. She’s seen the worst parts of life from a young age and every time she loses a little more hope. Your death isn’t much different than that and she begins to shut down and shut people out, refusing to continue to open herself up to pain like this. It’ll take months of convincing from Deanna that you wouldn’t want her to do that until she finally accepts her grief.

 **Guinan:** She accepts your death with a sad, little smile. So many others have met their ends in her time; being such a long-lived species means losing a few friends along the way. But just like the rest of them, she’ll never forget your name or the way it looked when you smiled. She holds those thoughts with her forever, living an even brighter existence than before because she knows she’s living it for the both of you.

 **Lore** : He’s angry. Violently so. How few creatures there are in the universe that he opens himself up to care about and how deeply unfair it is to lose one that seemed to care about him, too. The creatures who had a hand in your end don’t stand a chance against him, but not amount of revenge soothes him or brings you back. It’s another chip in his exterior, making him sharper and harder to hold onto. He carries the memory of you with reverence and never forgets or forgives what happened to you.

 **Q** : Death is a silly little mortal concept. He can play with it like he does any species. But he’s months late onto the scene. After all, he’s not ALWAYS watching the Enterprise — and by the time he realizes that you’re not there to toy with, but ejected out into space, he feels something… odd. It couldn’t possibly be grief, not as far as he’s concerned. It has to be something else; it’s not as though he’ll MISS you, right? It’s a fluke. A twitch. A hint of boredom. Nothing more. He tells himself that he won’t think about you again (and he fails).

 **Lwaxana** : Death is an uncomfortable subject for her. She doesn’t want to know about it, doesn’t want to think about it. When you’re gone, she simply shuts it out. Refuses to acknowledge and accept. It might look callous to some people, the way she continues to live as though life is a party just for her, but it’s the only way she knows how to continue. The moment she stops to take a breathe is the moment she collapses, and she can’t do that yet.

**Author's Note:**

> *** Reactions are based solely on my personal interpretations of the characters. If they do not reflect your opinion, please don't start an argument about it with me. Neither one of us are likely to change our minds, are we?


End file.
